So, do you have a Circle of Friends?

Circles are closed. You are either in or out. You keep a handful of people, a trusted circle and that’s that’s that. No one rolls with you guys.

What a small world you live in.

I like open friendships. Where we can form a never ending web of new connections with the friends of our friends. I like to introduce my friends to each other. I love it when their friendships grow independent of me. I love to make friends with the friends of friends. I like how refreshing it is, like a spring of fresh waters.

Circles are closed. Perhaps semicircles with one open side to let your friends leave and explore other friendships and one closed side to let friends who come back come freely and still find a pillar to fall back on.

Open friendship teaches you to be trusting. You learn a way to love your friends with a love that they may not really find anywhere else but from you. You offer your friends stability, support, a listening ear, open arms, even an open home.

You feel like home to your friends. And home is not a place we stay forever. Home let’s us go and wander and be great and welcomes us come back. Home. That place could be you for your friends. You grow apart to grow back together. You let your friends find other friends for their season, which you may not be in. You may even introduce them to your other friends. And when your stars align again, you pick things up like you never parted. No awkward silence. That’s how you keep friendships going for a very long time.

With open friendships, the network gets wider and wider. And you may never be a stranger anywhere again, because there will be a friend of a friend there. A new friend waiting for you.

Friendship shouldn’t run in tight knit circles. That’s why we have family. Solid, supportive, growing, rich, refreshing and trustworthy adult friendships are far reaching when they are open. Unless you are dramatic. Don’t spread that drama, keep it to your small circle, please.


  1. Musa Bwanali

    I’m all for open friendships, I find them more interesting and healthier. My friends are all over the world and each entered my life at a particular season. Once I got the hang of seasons changing and the changes that come with new seasons it was easier to know that friendships don’t grow with small circles. Love this!

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